Sex guide tips and techniques for men
Part 1: Tips for Lasting Longer in Bed and Having More Sex
While increasing your time of sexual intercourse might not be necessary, if you’re unhappy with how long you usually last during sex, these tips can help.
1. Practice Tactical wanking; Masturbating more & before You Plan to Have Sex
Sometimes ejaculating too fast is due to the fact that you haven't had sex. When it has been a while since you had sex it means your prostrate is full engorged and the slightest touch, lick, or thrust can set you off - literally!
If you masturbate and ejaculate an hour or two before you plan on having sex then it means that you will last longer when you have sex.
Caution: Practice appropriate timing between sessions, the last thing you need is then not being able to perform at all.
I often recommend masturbation and I am going to recommend it again. Solo sex can be sex without pressure where you can learn what it feels like when you’re about to ejaculate and practice some techniques for pulling yourself back from the brink . You can also learn what absolutely puts you over that edge so you can avoid it until you and your partner are satisfied with how long sex has lasted.
Instead of masturbating towards orgasm, try to focus on what is actually happening to your body. Notice the tiny sensations in your body from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. Notice what happens and just try to enjoy it rather than thinking about what might happen next. If you do this you will be more in tune to your body when you have sex and you may even be able to have orgasms without ejaculating.
Anyway, if premature ejaculation is a real problem for you see guide number 17 from the Reads For MEN guides pinned on my profile
2. Taking the pressure off Premature Ejaculation; Talk with Your Partner About it
Here’s another thing I always recommend - talking to your partner about sex. I know this stuff can be embarrassing but keeping your anxiety about coming too soon to yourself will only make it worse. For one thing, maybe your partner doesn’t think that penetration needs to last any longer than it usually does. Talk about taking the pressure off!
Talking about wanting to last longer in bed with your partner allows them to become part of the solution. They can help you figure out your triggers and stay away from specific moves or sensations until you’re both ready. They can also stretch foreplay out a little longer, offer up new positions, and assist with edging – which can increase the intensity for both of you.
Also Amp Up the Foreplay
Sometimes we need reminding that there is more to sex than penetration, and plenty of couples never have penis-in-anything sex and have lots of fun. Prolonging the foreplay and exploring each other’s pleasure buttons builds anticipation and deemphasizes penetration (if you choose to have it).
When penetrative sex is just one of many things, it matters less how long it lasts, and when it matters less, it often lasts longer. Plus, this gives you a lot of opportunities to give your partner orgasms.
Making a woman orgasm is one of the most powerful tools you have as a man. It can turn women into a mushy mess of emotions, overwhelmed by happiness hormones, and pleasure.
Make her orgasm, and she won’t care how long (or short) the sex is. She’ll be plenty satisfied.
Anyway, if premature ejaculation is a real problem for you see guide number 17 from the Reads For MEN guides pinned on my profile
3. Slow Down and Limit Thrusting
Controlling your speed when having penetrative sex also helps you control how quickly you come. Faster thrusting tends to lead more quickly to an orgasm.
What I suggest is this simple penetration technique that can yield tremendous staying power for you, and yet put her on a continuous sexual high at the same time.
This is what you do…
Perform eight shallow thrusts about two to three inches deep, and then one deep thrust. Follow this up with seven shallow thrusts and then two deep ones; six shallow thrusts followed by three deep ones.
You get the idea.
Continue doing this until you are performing nine deep thrusting movements. Then repeat the entire sequence again.
Why does this work so well?
First, deep thrusts are the ones that bring your penis closest to orgasm, as the frenulum (the stringy thing in the "inverted v" under the glans) and shaft skin are stretched the most, causing greater arousal. Varying shallow and deep thrusts will help taper off the stimulation on the penis glans/head. Second, the first three inches of a woman's vagina contain the most pleasure-seeking nerves and the shallow thrusts will stimulate her really well.
Anyway, if premature ejaculation is a real problem for you see guide number 17 from the Reads For MEN guides pinned on my profile
Part 2: Pleasing a woman more in bed
4. Here is how to help her have a better sex drive
You may have even heard that cheesy phrase that the brain is the biggest sex organ in women. Well, it’s true.
Let me break it down as simply as possible.
There are “Brakes” that lower your girl’s sex drive and “Accelerators” that increase her sex drive. These Brakes and Accelerators are mostly psychological, and they can both be happening at the same time. This is why it’s known as the dual-control model of sexual desire; although, the researchers describe these forces officially as the sexual excitement and inhibition systems rather than accelerators and brakes.
But knowing the technical name is less important than understanding how the dual-control model of Accelerators and Brakes works in reality.
Brakes that lower her sex drive include:
- Stress
- Low self-confidence
- Feeling taken for granted
- Feeling unattractive
- Lack of trust
- The wrong time in her menstrual cycle (aka her period).
- Certain medical conditions
- Responsibilities in the home
- Sex-negative messages she’s absorbed
- Sights, smells, or other senses that turn her off
- Fear of pregnancy or STIs
- Anxiety, depression, or low mood
Accelerators that increase her sex drive include:
- Sexual tension
- Flirting
- A partner who is charming to her friends (yes, this can be huge!)
- A small gift (flowers, cooking dinner, doing the dishes, putting the kids to bed, etc.)
- Feeling secure in her relationship
- Being comfortable with her body
Here’s the funny thing about these Brakes and Accelerators…
No matter how many accelerators you push, if the Brakes to her sex drive aren’t removed, her desire for sex can still be zero.
It’s like putting your foot on the accelerator when driving your car while at the same time keeping it in park with your other foot on the brake.
Here’s what I mean.
She could have her celebrity crush in front of her, telling her he wants her, BUT…
If she is super-stressed, has low self-confidence, doesn’t trust this celebrity, and has a medical condition like diabetes suppressing her sex drive, then she probably won’t want to have sex with him.
So, if you want to boost her sex drive, you need to:
FIRST, remove the Brakes to her sex drive, then afterward, focus on pushing the Accelerators to make her horny.
And in guide number 10 from the Reads For MEN guides pinned on my profile, I talk about pushing down hard on the Accelerators to her sex drive to make her horny.
5. Counter-intuitive to Men but Obvious to Women, Desire May Follow Arousal
One of the biggest mistakes men make in bed is assuming women experience sexual desire the same way men often do. For many men, desire comes first. You feel turned on, then you want sex. Simple.
But for many women, the process runs in reverse.
A woman may not be walking around feeling hungry for sex out of nowhere. She may feel neutral, distracted, stressed from the day, or mentally nowhere near intimacy. Then something physical and emotional begins to happen. Touching. Kissing. Relaxation. Feeling desired without pressure. The body starts waking up first. Only after arousal begins does desire appear.
This is where many men sabotage themselves without realizing it.
They treat foreplay like a short warm up before the “real event.” Meanwhile, for many women, foreplay is the event that creates the desire in the first place. Skip that part or rush through it and she may honestly believe she is “not in the mood,” when in reality her body simply has not had time to switch gears yet.
Think about how different this changes everything.
Instead of asking yourself How do I make her want sex tonight, ask yourself How do I help her become aroused enough for desire to naturally appear?
That is a completely different mindset. And it works.
Here is one practical technique you can use immediately.
Do not start with obvious sexual touching right away. Spend the first ten to fifteen minutes building physical comfort and anticipation without acting hungry. Kiss slowly. Touch her lower back, neck, thighs, hair. Pull her close while talking. Make her feel emotionally safe and physically noticed at the same time.
Then pay attention to responsiveness.
You are looking for small signs her body is waking up before her words catch up. Slower breathing. Leaning into touch. Holding eye contact longer. Touching you back without thinking about it. Moving closer instead of staying passive.
This is the moment many men ruin things by escalating too aggressively.
Do the opposite.
Slow down slightly when she starts responding. That little pause builds tension and allows arousal to spread through the body instead of overwhelming it too fast. Ironically, slowing down at the right moment often increases desire far more than immediately rushing toward intercourse.
Another powerful thing you can do is remove pressure entirely.
A woman who feels that every kiss must lead to sex will often stay mentally guarded. But when she feels free to enjoy touch without expectations, her body relaxes. Relaxation is one of the biggest accelerators of female arousal. Pressure kills it faster than bad technique ever will.
This is why women often say they became interested after things started, not before.
Men hear that and think it sounds confusing. Women hear it and think yes, obviously.
Once you understand this, foreplay stops being a chore you perform and becomes the process that creates desire itself. And men who understand that difference usually become dramatically better lovers almost overnight.
And in guide number 10 from the Reads For MEN guides, I talk about techniques to make Your Woman Do Anything in Bed.
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